Tired

Today I am just tired! I would love to just lay down and take a long nap, but that is not what this day will allow. Part of the reason I am tired is that I put out a lot of energy yesterday. A friend from Wisconsin had told us she was planning to visit and spend the night last night. She is a friend, so I know that the condition of my home is not her top priority to see while she is here. However, I do believe that a way to honor guests in my home is to have as clean and orderly as I can for their visit. When she was about 20 minutes drive from my home, she called and let us know she was not going to spend the night after all. I have to tell you my heart attitude was NOT good. I felt it was VERY inconsiderate, and I struggled to keep from saying something I knew I might regret later.

It was also Nathaniel's birthday, and one of our traditions is to allow the birthday person to decide on the meals for that day. Nathaniel's choices were totally reasonable, but it does require more effort when I need to send a snack to school for the class as well.

Another thing on my mind is an apology for a childhood acquaintance. I do not have a problem saying I forgive her for the things she is apologizing for. However, it is challenging to know how to state forgiveness with the mutual understanding that forgiveness does not mean that all the consequences of behavior are now gone.

I asked God to help me to grow in my relationship with Him this year. I see He is stretching me already. I wonder if I am tired because I have not surrendered all that I need to surrender or if the act of surrender is itself somewhat exhausting because it is not natural to our human nature to do so.